


Shadowed Smiles And Secrets Unrevealed

by LisaB1991



Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-04
Updated: 2014-12-04
Packaged: 2018-02-28 04:37:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2718989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LisaB1991/pseuds/LisaB1991
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mike has finally found the courage to tell Harvey..</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shadowed Smiles And Secrets Unrevealed

**Author's Note:**

> Written for this prompt at otpprompts:  
> "Imagine Person A confessing their love for Person B. Person B believes that A is teasing them so they brush it off as a joke. A immediately pretends it was, believing B doesn’t feel the same way. Both are heartbroken."
> 
> Unbeta'd, so all mistakes are mine.

The corridors at Pearson Hardman were deserted, the lights in the various offices turned off. The faint light illuminating the way to Harvey’s office seemed to guide him there, pulling him towards it, like a magnet. The lights in Harvey’s office were still on, and Mike could distinguish Harvey’s silhouette against the outlines of New York City if he focused and squinted very hard. Those extra two beers he drank just before he had left the bar hadn’t been such a good plan after all, he thought.

 

But he had no time to ponder over such a trivial thing, when his destination lay right in front of him, and his resolve began to waver dangerously. What if Harvey turned him down? Or worse, what if he laughed in his face? It was now or never, he decided, as Harvey and his office came closer, with each step, each hard, thundering step, which led him closer to his dream, or his doom.

 

What was his plan exactly? To simply walk in, and tell him as straightforward as he possibly could, as if it were something plain and simple, like a discussion about today’s weather? Or would he settle for Plan B? Walk in and cautiously talk in circles, as long as he could prolong the inevitable? Or maybe Plan C was the best one after all: run away as fast as possible, because he still could.

 

Harvey wasn’t paying attention to his surroundings; he was too occupied by the papers lying in front of him on his neatly polished desk. For all Harvey knew, Mike had left a couple of hours earlier to have some drinks with the other associates, as a celebratory closing of the year, as the year 2015 was rapidly coming their way, and their caseload allowed it for now. Tomorrow could be different. Hell, tomorrow _would_ be different. And not just because of some new clients, Mike thought.

 

And now he was here, roaming the long corridors of Pearson Hardman, making his way to the man he looked up to, respected, and loved. Yes, Mike Ross was in love with Harvey Specter. Big deal. But this was Harvey _fucking_ Specter we were talking about. You’d never know exactly how the man was going to react, to basically anything. And if you thought you knew, there was a 99.9 % chance you’d be proven wrong. But Mike knew he’d have to take the chance. It was either that or pining away, suffering with longing for a man who was probably too good for him anyways.

 

Mike slightly shook his head when he neared Donna’s cubicle. He needed to focus now, this time he couldn’t risk a malfunctioning brain to mouth filter. He had to do this right.

 

He reached the door and Harvey still hadn’t noticed him. The door was ajar so he could enter without the trouble of opening the door, or walking right into it, with him being slightly tipsy and all. _Slightly_ tipsy. Slightly.

 

As he stood there in the middle of the room, transferring his weight from one foot to the other, his hands clasped behind his back, then in his pockets, then wiping his sweaty palms against his pants, showed just how nervous he was. Unable to swallow the lump in his throat, he spoke hoarsely to get Harvey’s attention.

 

“H-Harvey, hey. You’re still here?”

 

Harvey looked up from the papers he had been staring at, deep in thought, with an annoyed look on his face. His features softened a bit when he saw it was only Mike, but switched to suspicion when he caught sight of his associate’s disheveled tie and red eyes.

 

“Yeah, Mike, these briefs need a final check-up for tomorrow’s deposition, and clearly _someone_ has to do it. That being said, why are you here? I thought you had left with the other rookies for some drinks?”

 

Harvey clearly asked him out of politeness, because he returned his gaze to his paperwork immediately, signaling that he didn’t really care why Mike had returned to the office at this hour.

 

“I eh… I forgot..”

 

Harvey looked up at him once again, intrigued and slightly annoyed at the same time. “You forgot something? Well that’s a first.. Especially for someone like you, with your amazing brain and-”

 

“That’s not..”

 

“Mike, please, if you really want to have a conversation, you’ve got to try to talk in complete sentences. Besides, I bet it can wait until tomorrow. It’s nearly midnight, so go home, get some sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.”

 

It was clearly a dismissal, but Mike stood still, unwilling to move, or let Harvey send him away. Not now. Not tonight.

 

“No, Harvey, I-”

 

Harvey sighed, clearly annoyed now, because he just wanted Mike to be gone and out of his sight so he could finish up and go home as well. “ _What?!_ ”

 

“I love you.”

 

There. He had said it. Not in the way he had expected it to be, but hey! This was Harvey Specter, best closer in New York City. Things always went unexpectedly when it came to him.

 

The silence that followed lasted an eternity, or so it seemed. Harvey looked Mike straight in the eyes, a shocked, guarded expression in his brown eyes. Shock was replaced by disbelieve, and disbelieve made way for another emotion which made Mike’s stomach churn.

 

Mike had been prepared for any reaction from Harvey’s side, verbal or not. Refusal, kindness, a clap on the shoulder, a pen aimed at his left eye. And he’d take it. But nothing in the world had prepared him for the roaring laughter that came his way seconds after Mike had laid his heart in front of him, on Harvey’s desk, for Harvey to take, to cherish, or to shatter. But this heartfelt, humorless laughter was worse than any kind of refusal. It pierced right through his heart, splintered his soul. He felt sick, his face was glowing, and his hands were shaking uncontrollably.

 

As quickly as it had come, Harvey’s amusement wound down, but his eyes kept sparkling with amusement. Mike didn’t know where to look, but he knew he couldn’t risk making eye contact with his boss, knowing it would probably kill him. And maybe that was for the better, because he suddenly realized he had never felt so embarrassed in his whole life. He quickly decided that his shoes were safer territory to stare at, but changed his mind as soon as the floor came into view. The floor wasn’t going to swallow him up anyway. Pity. His shoulders sagged a bit, as if most of the tension suddenly left his body, so he focused his gaze somewhere just over Harvey’s left shoulder, patiently waiting for whatever was coming.

 

Still hiccupping, Harvey remained seated, his arm casually draped over the back of his chair. “You know, Mike, you’re very funny when you’re drunk.”

 

Mike’s eyes shot up, his mouth suddenly bone-dry. He wasn’t drunk, perhaps a bit tipsy, but he was well aware of his actions and motives, and he was positive he’d remember all of this in the morning. This was Mike, who had finally found the courage to tell his boss how he felt about him, thanks to some drinks to provide him with the so needed bravery he had lacked previously. He wasn’t drunk enough to do silly games, though Harvey seemed convinced that that was the case.

 

“I’m not drunk, Harvey, I swear.”

 

“Drunk, tipsy, whatever. It’s all the same when it comes to you, you’re such lightweight.”

 

The blunt statement Harvey had made wasn’t surprising, but the words cut deep into Mike’s soul, as they landed sharply on the tender, loving feelings of a young man who was madly, deeply in love with him.

 

Harvey had originally meant for this not to sound so cruel, but Mike visibly shrunk and an expression of hurt formed on his face. But he figured the damage had already been done, and in the end, Mike would be grateful to him and understand that Harvey had meant to real offence, and that he had acted in his best interests.

 

Mike closed his eyes, the sting behind his eyelids was strong, but he’d be damned if he’d shed a single tear in Harvey’s office. The alcohol had influenced his emotions, that much was clear. Taking a shaky breath to try to retain his composure, he decided that, if this was what Harvey was going to believe about this, he’d better play along, if only to try and keep their working relationship from suffering further damage.

 

A sheepish, trembling smile played on his lip before he opened dry eyes to look at Harvey. He faked a relieved sigh, then forced his lips to spread further, in which he hoped to be a confident, cocky smile. “Ha! But you fell for it for a moment, didn’t you?”

 

Harvey chuckled along, but his amusement didn’t reach his eyes. Instead, his eyes showed a hint of wariness, which almost looked sentimental.

 

“If that’s what you believe, rookie, then go with it. But maybe you should consider taking acting lessons in the near future. Now, enough chitchat. Go home, and get some sleep. I need you to come in on time in the morning, we’ve got a long day ahead of us with this deposition.”

 

Mike nodded, and nearly fled the office, happy and grateful to Harvey for offering him a way out of this misery he had put himself in. He almost ran into the direction of the elevators, putting as much distance between himself and Harvey as quickly as he possibly could.

 

Such a goof he was! How could he have been so stupid? Exactly what had he expected to happen? For Harvey to echo his declaration of love with one of his own? For Harvey to immediately envelop him in the protection of his strong embrace? For Harvey to pin him against his record collection, and kiss him relentlessly? Had he really believed that? He was such a pathetic loser. He, who seriously thought that he could be good enough for Harvey Specter. He wasn’t sure how and _if_ he’d be able to face him in the morning, that much was certain.

 

Had Mike turned to look over his shoulder, he would have noticed the change in the older man’s expression. Harvey’s confident demeanor had disappeared completely, a defeated expression now played on his suddenly crestfallen face, his eyes downcast, as he spun around in his chair to face the window. He avoided looking at his own reflection in the widows, his breathing ragged, as he lowered his face to rub shaking fingers across his forehead.

 

Mike had been here, standing mere feet away from him, pronouncing the words he had longed to hear for so long now. But now that Mike had said them, finally, his words sounded almost groundless and premature. He knew how Mike reacted to alcohol, especially when others were around, urging each other on to drink as much as they could. Mike had been under the influence of alcohol, and surely his feelings of respect, and maybe brotherly love had been increased by it, which undoubtedly had led to Mike’s intoxicated brain to mistake these feelings for something more.

 

“And that could be only logical,” Harvey silently murmured to himself, “because why on earth would he fall for a man who is more than ten years older than he is? A man who is simply incapable of caring?”

 

Harvey’s shoulders slumped dejectedly. He had waited for those three simple words for so long, because he had lacked to courage to give voice to them himself. But now that they had been said, he felt lonelier and emptier than he had ever felt before.

 

He had brushed Mike’s words off as a joke, for his sake. But now that Mike was gone, with those huge, red-rimmed baby-blue eyes, the words from those lovely pink lips still hanging in the air, Harvey wasn’t sure how he’d ever find the courage to show up at work tomorrow, and pretend like nothing had happened. Because what he wanted, the one thing he had longed for most, was out of his reach, as it has always been, and always would be.

 


End file.
